The Closet

I went to dinner tonight with one of my company's clients. It was a lengthy meal, loaded with wine, and as the evening went on, the conversation suddenly shifted to both religion AND politics. Not exactly what I generally hope for at business dinners.

Everything was respectful, polite and engaging, but the conversation lead us to talk about my spouse, and again when someone asked me about my "husband," I failed to correct them.

There is a part of me that feels like it was not the time or the place to out myself... But why not? Everyone else at the table spoke freely of their loved ones... Why should I have to change pronouns and make this extra effort to conceal what is simply my daily life?

I am married. Period. It so happens that I have a wife and not a husband... But why do I have to feel that it's inappropriate to clarify that?

I hate the fear that forces me to think twice about these things. After all these years, the closet door is so, so much wider open that it ever was, but I still find myself retreating to the shadow of that door more often than I would like... Which is never.